Best Wedding Gift Ideas of 2010

Bucky Disclaimer: As you may or may not have seen in my profile bio, I am fluent in sarcasm.  Therefore, if you are easily offended or forgot to wear your sense of humor hat today, you may want to stop reading now. 

Wedding Season is now upon us.  It is now June, the biggest wedding month of the year.  And for those of you who like me, have been married forever (celebrating the big 10 this year), you may find yourself scratching your head a bit when it comes to finding the perfect wedding gift.  There are so many things to consider.  Do you purchase from the registry?  Do you go for something personal?  Do you go for something useful?  Do you go for something that you know damn good and well the couple will never use, but that will elicit lots of oohs and ahhs at the gift opening and raise your status among "Hippest Gift Givers Ever"?  So many choices, so little time.  So, being the overly helpful person I am, I am going to share with you what I think are the ten best wedding gift ideas ever, depending on the desired effect.

 Cold Hard Cash.

Yes, it's screamingly impersonal.

It's also a little difficult to negotiate, because if you are a cheapskate, they will know.  If you are obscenely generous, they will know.  But on either count, I doubt you could ever find a newly wed couple that would turn down a greenback.

 This one came to mind the other day as I went downstairs for the 19th time this week to retrieve something from my pantry.  This one item is something I received for my wedding 10 years ago, and use several times a week.  It is not glamorous, it is not beautiful, it is not romantic.  It does not illustrate the majestic bond between me and my husband.  I imagine it was very economical.  However, I can honestly say it's the most used wedding gift I received.

An electric griddle/skillet.  (You could substitute a George Foreman Grill as well).  I use it constantly.  It comes in very handy for making pancakes, or 24 grilled cheese sandwiches when every kid in the neighborhood converges on your home since you're the only person dumb enough on the street to own a trampoline.

My husband once said to me that he always felt like the guy got jipped on wedding day. 99% of the wedding gifts are centered towards kitchen use. While admittedly, this may excite some men, it will really be the woman who will get to play with these gadgets. So for those of you who would like to throw a little love at the groom for putting up with months of endless jabber about mundane details such as colors, and cakes and yada yada yada, might I suggest something my hubby received and dearly loved?

A cooler.

Yes, I know it sounds unglamorous.

But I don't really know any men who would turn down a piece of equipment that will hold beer. Really.

 Bread machine.  Now, I know some of you may be gasping in awe or smacking yourself on the head because that's exactly what you just bought for your niece's upcoming nuptials, but trust me on this one.  Everyone I know who has a bread machine used it for about two weeks, and it has sat in that stupid cupboard above the fridge that no average sized human can actually reach ever since.

Think about it, if the guy really likes making bread all that much, should he really be entering into a heterosexual union?  (Can't wait for the hate mail on that one). 

And if the gal is really that into making bread, shouldn't she know how to make it from scratch?  Now, for those of you readers under the age of 40, that means, no box, no mixes.  You just magically create something delicious by combining ingredients in a witch-craft like manor and them baking it in the oven.  No, not the microwave, the oven.

Bedroom toys.

While this is perfectly ok for the bachelor party, bachelorette party,or a toy/lingerie shower, this really is a gift faux paux on the actual day of the ceremony/reception.  Unless you've been invited to Hugh Hefner's wedding.  Then by all means, have at it.

How about a "Breakfast in Bed" basket like the one featured in the photo?  This would especially be great if the couple will open gifts before embarking on the honeymoon.  Or even if not, a nice way to continue the honeymoon once they get home!

For my first wedding,I received a 101 dalmations blanket.  So not kidding.  Now, I received this gift from an eccentric relative who is unfortunately,no longer with us, and I think she had been shopping for a baby shower and wedding on the same day.  So somewhere out there, a little kid (who is now about 14) is enjoying a gravy boat.

I am really not the returning type, though, so I will admit I kept the blanket, and now my 6 year old thinks its great.  But it did provide an awkward moment at the time.

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

It's a whole lot easier to do it right the first time then to spend 10 years cleaning up a big mess.  One of the biggest causes of marital strife and divorce is money issues and debt.  If there is one thing I wish I could go back and do over again from my wedding day on,it would be money management.  This book is a fantastic tool to get couples on the right foot from day one.  It could be taken the wrong way by some, so you might want to guage this based on how well you know the couple, or include a nice note in the card so as not to offend someone.  I personally think if someone is going to be offended by good advice, then they sort of deserve the shit storm headed their way, but that's just me.

While the couple is on their honeymoon, sneak over to their house and spruce up their flower bed.  Plant a bleeding heart plant or update their landscaping.  This is something that could cost a little or a lot, depending on their space and your skill level, or you could give them a gift certificate for a year's worth of lawn care.  You could include a nice note explaining that they won't have to spend their first year out in the yard arguing over the azaleas.  Now by year 3, they will look forward to "yard" time alone, but I saw this online and thought it was a pretty cool idea.

A gift certificate for couples counseling.

Now, while I personally think this is funny, and know many couples who could use it, there really is a time and a place.  And as I know far too well, most people don't appreciate this type of dry humor.  Now if it's your ex getting remarried......