Are Men Threatened by Strong Women?

Does being a strong woman automatically mean you have to emasculate your man? If your wife makes more money than you, does that diminish your "manliness"? An interesting question. One I think about a lot lately. I was raised in a family that certainly had "traditional" roles and morals and values. Dads worked, moms raised the kids, took care of the house, etc. However, the moms did work some too when times were tight and I never grew up feeling like my "place" was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I grew up thinking that men and women are equal, and that in a marriage, it should be a partnership, not a patriarchy. I consider myself to be a strong woman. I absolutely think marriage, children and family are of utmost importance. I do not think, however, that a woman should ever lose herself to her marriage or her family. I think it is completely within reach to be a fabulous wife, a kick ass mom, and whatever it is that makes you....you. Throughout my life, I have seen more and more women do that. The men in my generation seem to be okay with this. A lot of them were raised by baby boomers and/or women who lived through integral parts of the feminist movement. However, I think the men in the generations before me still need some convincing.

I think most men under 40 or 50 today will probably tell you that they agree its archaic to say a woman's place is in the kitchen. They will say they like their women working, contributing financially to the household, and that they are ok with helping with the household chores and the child rearing. They are enlightened. They are comfortable with their masculinity and "Strong women are hot". That's what they say. But do they really mean it?

If you haven't done so yet, take a quick minute to watch the short video clip I posted above. This is my absolute favorite scene of all time from ABC's hit show Private Practice. In the scene, Charlotte tells her boyfriend, Cooper,

"I am too much woman for you. I'm strong, I'm comfortable with being strong, and I like that I'm strong, and if that is too much woman for you, if that makes your junk feel tiny, I'm not gonna put myself in a box to make you feel like a big man."

BOOYA! Love it! I am woman, hear me roar!

By the way, my husband despises Charlotte. He thinks she's one of the hottest chics on the show, but he despises her. And before ya'll start feelin the hate for my hubby, I would like to point out that she is kind of a bitch. But....she is strong. The reason her and Cooper are in this particular fight is because she has a lot more money than Cooper does, and she just bought his way into the medical practice. Youch. That kind of hurts. Or does it? If a man were to give a gift like that to a woman, it would be considered thoughtful, generous, chivalrous. But when a woman does it for a man, is she really emasculating him?

I think there is still an internal mindset in a lot of men today to hold on to that "Men make the money, women take care of the family". Most men will not outwardly admit that, because, let's face it, a lot of women carry guns these days. But I still think it's there, lurking quietly in the background. My husband and I are ten years apart. And I can honestly say that for the most part, I never even notice the age difference. But when topics like strong women come up, it is the white elephant in the room. I honestly don't think this is because my husband (or other men his age) are jerks, they were simply raised in a different time than I was. Period.

So what about when the woman makes more money than the man? This is becoming more and more common. Statistics vary based on source, but the general consensus seems to be that 1 out of 4 or 1 out of 5 women make more money than their spouse. Is this a big deal? Many would say no. But think of this. Since the dawn of time, men have pretty much been defined as the "provider". What happens when that is no longer the case? There may be many reasons for this. Maybe the man lost his job due to downsizing and can't find a new one. Maybe he was disabled in an accident. Or maybe women are starting to dominate higher paying fields. I don't know. I do know that I work in an industry that is mostly male dominated. When I attend continuing education classes, 95% of the students are male. However, I would estimate that probably 75% of them are older gentleman nearing retirement age. When those men are gone from the field, will women take their place? Again, I don't know. I didn't do a lot of research for this hub, because I'm busy and I'm pretty much just ranting. That's how I roll.

Another thing to consider is this. What if the woman is making more money, yet still taking on 95% of the household responsibilities. Where is the equality in that? Well, if it's because her husband is injured or disabled, that's one thing. But like I said, there are many different circumstances in which a woman would make more than her significant other.

What about the men who choose to be stay at home dads? According to www.rebeldads.com, the number is somewhere between 17% and 25%. Do you think these men don't face a stigma every single day? I personally think they should be applauded. You go girl...er....I mean guy!

The main point I wanted to make with this rant is this. Do you remember the commercials where the woman would say "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"? I think it's time we replace that slogan with "Don't hate me because I'm strong." (And by that I don't mean that she can bench 250). Strong is the new beautiful baby!

 So, with last night's powerful episode dealing with the brutal attack and rape of Charlotte, who else is just blown away by KaDee Strickland's acting?  I have heard some people say that the episode was far too graphic, too emotional, too.....anything.  What do you think?  I personally think putting this stuff in your face is what we need.  I also think the terrible stigma that rape victims feel is why this horrible crime is so grossly under reported.  What do you think?